we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
