I wanna bring you to show and tell
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
