Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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