hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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