You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He shit in the fireplace
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
