My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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