I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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