We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
