if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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