Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Fuck appropriateness.
you traded sex for a burrito?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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