why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
