Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
