will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
