I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Randomize
