Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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