Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
