Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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