K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
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I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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