Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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