lets start a swedish sibling band together
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
