The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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