You work out of a Hotel?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
