belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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