dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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