Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
