I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
