I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
