yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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