Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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