the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
