i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there was a trapeze. enough said
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
