Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
