question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
