I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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