And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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