fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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