i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
