Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize