upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
