That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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