Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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