Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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