Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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