hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
