She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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