I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize