Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
