Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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