I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
