they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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