Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
