dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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