so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
