If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize