I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
