i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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