If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
