i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't want my vagina anymore.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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