Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
