Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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