So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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