I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
