I didn't shave. On purpose
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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