Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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